In 1990, Deborah Tannen wrote the book, You Just Don’t Understand: Women and Men in Conversation, to explain the gender differences in communication styles between men and women. In her observation of young boys, Tannen noticed that they create relationships with each other by doing things together; activities are central to their friendship. Girls, on the other hand, create close relationships with each other by simply talking. For girls, talk is the essence of intimacy.
By nature, I am quite verbal – a “think out loud” type of person. I organize my thoughts, and problem solve by talking things through. Quite often I better understand what I am thinking when I hear myself say it!
When my younger brother died 5 years ago at the age of 51, nothing made much sense. Talking about it was excruciatingly painful. Words were not adequate to communicate my vast and intense feelings.
I gained a first hand understanding of the gift of compassionate silence. I think...
Recently, a young, 33 year old woman returned to therapy to talk about the long repressed trauma resulting from a college date rape. I hadn’t worked with someone who was battling PTSD for a while. Instead of simply relying on my tried and true resources in a situation like this, it is my custom to also explore new research and thought leaders.
My search lead me to a brilliant writer, Stephen Joseph, PhD and his book What Doesn’t Kill Us: The New Psychology of Posttraumatic Growth....
I have a great deal of respect for Dr. Marty Klein. He has been a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist and Certified Sex Therapist for 35 years. He has focused his entire career toward a single set of goals: telling the truth about sexuality, helping people feel sexually adequate & powerful, and supporting the healthy sexual expression and exploration of women and men. I have learned a lot from his books and blogs. Today’s post is titled: